age, carers, Dementia, Life, poetry

Trapped

 

Its difficult caring for an ageing mum

For a daughter, and a son

Its difficult caring when it’s so full time

Nights into day, no space was mine

 

It got so bad that it that it affected my health

Came on slowly, dangerous with stealth

Had a mental meltdown, had to run away

Now feel guilty, what more can I say

 

I need to go back, but my mind is not ready

I need to feel more balanced and really steady

My mum needs me, but I also need to be Okay

Need to find a better way.

 

It will be difficult, as family relationships are hard

Communication and understanding, often marred

By events that happened a long time ago

But they are back and graphic, it is just so

 

It can’t be forgotten and brushed aside

Even with our mother needing us unified

So, I am lost and trapped and I don’t know what to do

I just know I cannot deal with you

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poetry

Do you love me?

 

Do you love me?

I am sure you don’t

When you kick and punch and hurt me. I am sure you don’t.

But then you are sorry

And you take me in your arms

Do you love me, you say you do.

 

How can you love me?

With this black eye

And the clothes just covering bruises

They keep your lie.

Do you love me, I hope that you do

 

Do you love me?

I am beginning to understand

You love yourself , not me

I am just property

Do you love me?

It does not matter anymore

Because I don’t love you.

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