age, carers, Dementia, Life

A Victory


Well I just want to record a minor victory. My mum has just been out into the garden and sat in the sunshine for fifteen minutes. It was warm and lovely. She could see the plants rushing into new spring life and pass comment on the pretty small daffodil bulbs she and my brother planted late last year. We tried to do the crossword.

It was a victory as, despite the weather being beautiful and sunny today, my mother refused to be taken out anywhere. Yet she complains constantly about just sitting in the chair and falling asleep.  I am willing to take her anywhere she wishes, but any suggestion has been met with a definite “No!”. 

But the weather has been too nice today to ignore. I am sure a little bit of sunshine will do her some good and now she is asleep in the chair again.  Vitamin D?


Mother’s day or Mothering Sunday, is causing some anxiety. Apparently, she normally spends this day with my brother, but his wife is away and I am happy to cook instead. We have invited my Aunty to Sunday lunch too. It should all be lovely, but my mum is anxious. She really would like to be left alone. She says there is too much fuss about these things now. She is right.  The advertisers, flower providers and restaurants do a roaring trade around this time.   making people feel guilty if they don’t spend huge amounts on their parent. She said it used to be just about flowers. But you never know how many mother’s days there are left, so we are gently, ignoring my mother and we will celebrate anyway.  I have not spent Mother’s day with my mother for many years.

My mother loves freesias. After spending some time in Guernsey, the Channel Islands, I came across a freesia farm and always try and get her some of these beautiful aromatic flowers for her birthday or mother’s day.  She had some in her bouquet at her wedding nearly 61 years ago. 

When the parcel arrived yesterday, well you would think I had sent her something awful!  She just does not like a lot of fuss. “Why are you spending your money on me?” She snapped. “You don’t have to, you know”.  Sometimes it makes you wish you had not. 

Not really, I like buying her things even if it makes her mad.


Oh, and the new hand rails on the doorstep. “That was a good idea of mine, to get those, wasn’t it?” She said.


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